Wanted, Not Needed
You said you wanted to be wanted,
not needed.
I don't think you knew
how long that sentence
would live inside me.
At first
I thought they were the same thing.
Need.
Want.
Love.
Different words
for reaching for the same person
when the world gets too heavy.
And I reached for you.
God,
I reached for you.
When I didn't know what to do,
I asked you.
When I didn't know where to go,
I followed you.
When life scared me,
I stood behind you
and called it standing beside you.
I thought that was love.
Maybe sometimes it was.
But somewhere along the way
I handed you so many pieces of my life
that loving me became a job.
And you were tired.
I see that now.
That's the part that hurts.
I see so much now.
I see all the invisible things
you carried
while I was busy believing
we were carrying them together.
I see how often
"I need you"
probably stopped sounding romantic.
How eventually
it might have sounded like
I can't do this without you.
And maybe even
you aren't allowed to stop.
I never meant to make you responsible
for keeping me standing.
I swear to God
I didn't.
I just trusted you
with all the places in me
I didn't trust myself.
And I thought
that was what husbands did.
I thought giving you
every vulnerable part of me
meant I loved you completely.
I didn't understand
that eventually
you might need somewhere
to put your own weight.
And I wasn't strong enough
to hold it.
So you said
you wanted to be wanted,
not needed.
And something inside me
collapsed.
Because how do you explain
to the person you love
that underneath all that need
was want?
I wanted you.
I wanted your laugh
when something caught you off guard.
I wanted the conversations
that went nowhere.
I wanted to tell you
the stupid thing that happened
because you were always
the person I told.
I wanted to sit beside you
without needing anything at all.
I wanted my best friend.
I still do.
But I buried all of that want
under so much need
that eventually
you couldn't see it anymore.
Maybe neither could I.
So now I'm learning.
I'm learning how to stand
without reaching for your hand
every time my knees shake.
I'm learning things
I should have learned years ago.
How to take care of myself.
How to make decisions.
How to be alone
without treating loneliness
like an emergency.
And every time I figure out
something new,
there's this stupid little part of me
that wants to run to you.
Look.
Look what I did.
I did it myself.
Aren't you proud of me?
And then I realize
even becoming independent
still makes me want
to turn toward you.
Maybe that's the difference.
I don't want you back
because I can't survive without you.
I'm learning that I can.
That's what makes this hurt
so much more.
Because after everything,
after learning how to stand,
after discovering
that the world doesn't end
when I have to carry myself,
I look around
at all this new strength
I never wanted to need
and there is still
one thing I haven't learned
how to stop doing.
Wanting you.
Not because I need someone.
Not because I'm afraid
to be alone.
Not because I need you
to save me.
Just because
out of everyone
in this enormous fucking world,
when something beautiful happens,
you're still the first person
I wish was standing beside me.